I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
