I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
