girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I understand Curling. That high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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