she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
