ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
