It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize