Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
