Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
