the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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