I'm really into asian looking animals
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
