She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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