Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
dude. I can hear the air.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
