On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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