My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
