remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
