some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
