Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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