they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
