I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize