You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize