i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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