Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
