it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
