dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
