this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
