I'm so fucking centered right now
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
