No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
