Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
They took my balls.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
