i don't like sucking hair
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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