Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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