i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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