If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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