the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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