Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
