Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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