You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
