did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
