So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
