Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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