Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
