walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
