OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
