She is in my trunk
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
