I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
