He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
