It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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