I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
