i barfeds in our rink
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
