Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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