Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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