Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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