Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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