I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Come on in and take your pants off
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