I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think my vagina is haunted
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
