Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize