Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize