Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
