How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
