i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize