Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
