just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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