honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
