Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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