there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I didn't notice because vodka
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
