I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
