so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think people are normalizing furries
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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