Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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